"I'm not making a plea," I said "I'm only here to establish jurisdiction, and I would appreciate you calling me Michael of the Thomas family when you ask for me."
Off goes the usher and at 10am the court starts it's business. I look around and notice most people are filling in Plea & Circumstances forms as though they had already given up.
At 2 minutes past twelve the court tannoy calls out "Michael Thomas to Court 1 " I was in no rush so I started putting my bits in order when out came the Usher. "Michael, we're ready for you now." I wondered if they were.
I checked with the Usher that my Notice had been submitted, which he confirmed. I stopped at the entrance to the court, took a deep breath, noticed my legs were like jelly and asked the court "Are we on the record?"
"Come in and stand there!" boomed the head Magistrate pointing to the back of the court.
I repeated my question "Are we on the record?"
"We don't record hearings" was the reponse
"Then why are all these microphones here?" asks me
The Magistrate repied "They are for the benefit of the deaf. They do not record proceedings."
"Well," says I, " I will enter this court only with the full reservation of my inalienable rights. Are there any objections?"
"Are you going to come in or are you going to leave?" barks his Lordship, his tone becoming very abusive and oppressive.
"Only with the full reserv..." he cuts me off " Are you in or out?"
I was getting a little annoyed by now and asked "Are you trying to deny me my rights
"If you don't come in we will deal with this case in your absence."
I repeated my mantra "Only with the full...."
"I will hold you in contempt of court!" shouts the Magistrate
"Would that be civil or criminal?" I ask. He ignores me and demands I stand at the back. " No thank you," says I, " I will stand where I choose."
The atmosphere is getting decidedly frosty so I march up to where the prosecutor was sitting and said " I am here making a special appearance in order to establish jurisdiction." The Magistrate is muttering about contempt so I carry on " Would you please be so kind as to prove your status and jurisdiction over myself, Michael of the Thomas family. a sovereign human with a living soul (Meanwhile the clerk of the court is on the phone) , or conversely prove that standing before you is a legal fiction and not a human being?"
'I'm now holding you in contempt of court!" says the Magistrate, trying desperatly to contol his temper.
"Would that be civil or criminal?"
"CRIMINAL!" he blurts out
"Who makes the claim? Where are the witness statements?"
I look over my shoulder to see three Reliance Security guards approach me. The Mag orders them to detain me and I'm frog-marched out of the courtroom, through the dock and downstairs to the cells. I get processed in the cell which means emptying your pockets and answering question like "Are you racist, homophobic...." "Homophobic?" I says "That's surely not a real question?" And it was!
Now these cells are bear! Flat walls and a wooden plank to sit on. That's it!
I'm now chuckling to myself and thought I would take the time to relax a bit. So, I streched out on the board for about half an hour. Now, you know that time when your not asleep but not awake either? I was in this relaxed state when the cell door opened and I was told I had to see a solicitor. " I've not asked for a solicitor" I said. "The court have sent him down to see you." was the reply.
I'm escorted to a cell with a dividing glass partition where I'm faced with a gentleman who called himself David Mason. He asked if I was suffering from mental health problems and asked if I would apologise to court.
"You're fucking joking!" says I, " I'll tell you what! I'll accept the COURTS APOLOGY for denying me my rights and un-lawfully incarcerating me. Now, you tell them that!" Looking back, I can't believe how pissed-off that made me.
Interview over, I'm escorted back to my new home. Back to relaxing. After all, you'll die if you worry and you'll die if you don't, so there really is no point in worrying.
At about 1:20pm I'm escorted back into court and into the dock surrounded bt plate glass. The Mag mutters something to me. "I can't hear a bloody word you're saying behind this glass!"
"Then put you ear to gap in the glass." shouts the Magistrate "What!" I shout "I can't hear you!" (I could really)
The Mag repeats himself while attempting a mime "OK!" shouts me. He seems calmer now and has regained his composure.
We banter about for a bit. Would I follow procedure, they asked "Would they respect my rights" I retorted. After a few minutes of this I was allowed back into the court where I noticed they had brought in an extra Clerk. "Who are you ?" I demanded
"I"m the Assistant to the Justices" he replied in a cocky voice, "Sit there!" pointing to the back of the court. "No thank you. I'll sit where I please"
Anyway, I ask if they've read my Notice. They ignore my question and the new boy asks me to follow court procedure. I'm outraged! " You expect me to play your game by your rules and you don't even want to tell the rules!"
"We have procedure" is his reply
"Have you read my lawful notice?" is mine. This goes on for a minute or two then they decide to carry on regardless of anything else, and call the Policyman witness. He does his bit and I'm offered a chance to cross examine. "No!" I said " If I do that the court will asume jurisdiction over me. Oh! By the way, I'm still waiting for your proof of jurisdiction."
Totally ignored again!
They ask me if there is anything I want to say in my defense. "If I answer that question, will I be entering into contract with the court?"
They ignore that question too, and ask me again if I want to say anything in my defence. "If I answer that question, will I be entering into contract with the court?" and so it went on, until the Magistrate offered to look at my notice before they summed up. They had'nt even seen it. The new Clerk did'nt know what I was talking about then miraclously produce a photocopy of it and passed it to the bench. The gave it a look while I told them how the court had dis-honoured me by not putting my notice's on the public record as requested. In fact the bench had no idea that I had corresponded with the court at all! Fair play anyone?
The Magistrates then asked about my finances in order to fine me according to my means "I have none" I stated " I live off my wifes Income Support"
Then they asked if the loss of my license would cause my family any hardship. "Yes, my wife needs regular hospital treatment and cannot use public transport" thus saving my license, though I can't think why I would bother.
The bench retires and comes back with 8 points on my clean license, 150 fine, 120 costs and... wait for it.....15 quid VICTIM SURCHARGE!! WTF!!! I was too tired to argue that one so I just smiled to myself and was told that I could leave when I was ready.
So, in conclusion that's what the courts do to people. No Rights, no justice, no fair-play. Their way or the highway.
Having said that I should mention the attitude change in the Magistrate during the second half. He become polite, calmer, called me Michael, and said (when giving instruction) that I could sit, stand wherever or when ever I choose. Some small measure of respect I like to think.
So, this how the Courts like to treat Freemen. What other way could they treat us? After all, it a great reponsibility to be a Keeper of the Statute.
